All anger left me after
Robert…died, after I
Was put in the position
To take…his life.
I was thirty-two, just,
And full of hope, I’ll
Be thirty-five soon.
I no longer get mad,
It isn’t in me. Though
I have always surmounted
Obstacles, persevered,
Bubba’s death almost killed me.
That and the baby, just
A seed passing quietly,
Brought subconscious thoughts
Struggling. Then
I met someone who fed
My passion, who spoke
And listened, who helped
Me articulate, define me
And what I need.
I cheated on a mate
Of sixteen years in
The process of defining.
Unconsciously understanding
The irreparable state
In which I placed
The relationship and that
I had hurt my good friend
Of sixteen years.
But I had broken
The core of me, my
True beliefs.
The catalyst three led me
To understanding that I was
Not the happiest I could be,
That I need too and the giving
Had to stop somewhere though
It’s an inherent trait.
My ideals are out there
I will have them and I
Will be one-hundred percent,
Gloriously, beautifully happy,
Bringing joy and passion
To every day of my life.
This is a commitment
I make to me. I will never
Again break my own trust.
