Sometimes within the mind there is a disconnect. Reality, actuality are not what is…perceived. And perceived reality, perceived actuality are your truth.
It’s more than difficult to dig yourself out of this hole.
In hindsight, however, I think I may have been an incredibly beautiful child and a lovely young woman. Not in manner, but in looks lacking mainstream ideals.
Yet no matter the affection in youth, no matter the love won or lost in marriage, (sparse and rare, what I recall),
Reality, actuality, and the truth of the matter found me only recently.
To gaze into a lover’s look, to hear one question why he had not seen how beautiful I was until that first moment of passion, to hear appraisal come in friendship from good women…
To see what was in me all along, reflected back from others…
To realize all those years I had been digging…
Finally to see the sun.
