Baby, baby,
I should be getting
Settled in to work,
Not thinking of you.

So this cowboy,
(He had a hat like yours)
He prolly saw me singin’.
I looked over – at a light –
And then up.
He was smiling big, so I,
I smiled back. He tipped
His hat, so I lowered lashes
Appropriately
Like any southern girl should
And blushed.
He drove slow then drove on,
A big wave out the window
Of his truck. And I smiled.

They see it in my smile, my eyes, my walk,
They hear it in my voice.
Happiness cause of you.

I
I talk
To death in dreams.
He is beautiful, wild and free,
Dark and green,
Cloak of shadows
That ebb and flow,
Passion that
Burns like black blue coals
In his eyes.
He is
Intensity.
He is
Like a long lost lover in his caress.
Death is not peace,
He is the actualization
Of the soul’s passions and desires, and
Aspirations
Of which he has gifted
Me a taste in life.
I regret not, sending
My brother to his keep.

II
Baby, baby,
I should be reading
For class not thinking
Of you.

Ah, you,
The hard work you’ve put into your life,
The core of you thrills me
With admiration, respect, and a thirst
For life.

My life,
My strife
Seems weightless
With the depths of you.

Are you excited?
Do you wake up each day excited?

Work two jobs, go to school,
Take care of dogs, of house, of bills,
And even sometimes of self.
Everyday is so fucking beautiful.

When I killed my brother,
For I did you know, in
The denotative sense of the word,
Anyway,
My mind began
It’s shift. Subconscious
Spread to conscious and truth and the world,
The world turned
Altogether too bright.
I approached watching
Through half closed lids,
Doubling over in the agony of despair.
I shuffled my feet forward.
Always,
Forward.

The brightness, the burning
It’s still blinding but
Now I look full on and
Mark it’s beauty in searing passion
For life and truth.

Some things are just
A part of me, my
Story written in blood like ink.
They make me who I am.

That shy girl unsure,
Yet always independant now
Rushes forward at the shiny
She wants to hold and cherish and adore.

Je vous adore'.

Perhaps more knowledge
Would assuage my…
Restlessness? A statement
Perhaps of your intentions,
What, when, how.

You know mine, I believe.
And yet, this is

An exercise in restraint, in
Relinquishing control, in
Not having a clear grasp
On things. An exercise in
Trust.

I have always led, for lack of finding
another capable,
Taken care of things as the only one able.
And thus my strength grew.
And I find myself, the peach, anew.

Let me handle you carefully,
Caressing smooth skin and deep thoughts.
With the intent to spoil,
Accepts the gifts I have to give.
Let me take care of you
Day in, day out and in my way.
Let me cherish you, show you
All that is in me. Let me keep you
On your toes. I’ll only ask
For the same in return, for flesh
And words and other acts of
Expression.

If I doubt, I doubt God,
Not you or I, no, just God
For he fucks me over
And rarely allows.

Fate left in my own hands,
I will take you with passion,
Knowing I deserve a good life.

You confuse me.

In awe I see you reside
In calm and stillness,
No hurry do I see;
I live in fire of breath
Of passion, fire in the belly,
Stoked flames by your
Allowance of my honesty.

I am impatient, wanting,
I move ever forward swiftly,
Wanting to know, wanting to consume
You in the heat of the day.

Residing at fathoms deep,
Restless hunger gnaws,
Desirous to know.

I the child
Bounce, skip,
Flirt in eager
Anticipation.

The end I see I want deeply
And yet, the journey free,
What fun.

And I wasn’t looking,
You weren’t looking,
Yet we saw each other.

Talk of your mundane day
Fills me flush.

Weather turns cool eventually
And the skies darken early.
My mind will turn even more
So to thought of passages and doors.

I leak sometimes
Spontaneously.