Saturday, December 12, 2015

in a moment of a moment

the Electric Demon breathing fire
brass balls, brass eyes
stone face, readies to draw

“Come on girl, ain’t you learned yet?”

and in a moment of a moment
on a deep inhale,
she pulls the Universe in...

sun and moon
the birthing of nebulas

in, to burning lungs
and cryin’ eyes

breathe held
the elements form
a molten lava 
eyes a fire

morphing into a cooling flesh
hard shell
eyes darken to embers

Only Cowgirls know
how to throw walls in crowded space




in a moment of a moment

the Electric Demon breathing fire
brass balls, brass eyes
stone face, readies to draw

“Come on girl, ain’t you learned yet?”

and in a moment of a moment
on a deep inhale,
she pulls the Universe in...

sun and moon
the birthing of nebulas

in, to burning lungs
and cryin’ eyes

breathe held
the elements form
a molten lava 
eyes a fire

morphing into a cooling flesh
hard shell
eyes darken to embers

Only Cowgirls know
how to throw walls in crowded space




Friday, December 11, 2015

duct tape and screws

in she come undone
picked at the ravels and pills
till a hole torn clean through

the coming undone?
it let the other in
and quickly let the other out

long she been
battened down and patched up
with duct tape and screws

though Androids [may] Dream 
of Electric Sheep
and Cowgirls with Demons
long to crush deep blue

she knows they ain't never
gonna be you


Sunday, November 08, 2015

take the long way home

She lost her virginity at sixteen
in the home team baseball dugout
on the last day of junior year
to the guy who sat too close in class

not the crush she’d had for years

her sister had advised to
Just get it done
Don’t let some bastard break your heart
not like that

thirty years later she throws her heart into it

but lacks attachment

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

6.93 lbs

The cremated remains of an approximately 110 pound woman weighs 6.93 pounds and costs $53.40 to ship from Missouri to Texas.


There’s no poetry in that.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

thursday at the latest

there are things I want to shout
In a low deep voice strongly
the good, the bad, the ugly

returning a call to the chapel
 – the mortuary?
the one-stop-shop that ships
remains of the dead parcel post –
I spoke in a little voice lightly
(yet sure) and irreconcilable
to the years I’ve got behind me

Sister arrives tomorrow
thursday at the latest


Thursday, October 22, 2015

I Hear the Drums Echoing Tonight

In my rear view mirror a woman is preoccupied with her visor mirror, checking…her hair? Her eyes? To the left, a man is staring in his own rear view, patting his waxed on helmet, engrossed. Both with windows rolled up on a sixty-five degree morning that rarely occurs here. I consciously touch my own hair briefly, finger-combing a tuft at the back caused by driving five miles over a forty-mile speed limit with the window down.

Bad songs on the radio; thankfully, a full playlist in my head.

Monday, October 12, 2015

shipping human remains

It was spring that year
wet met dry lungs on a deep inhale
lush, deep green, the land of souls
brother in a baby blue box;
I had thought not to visit the place again
not to bury another, not soon
but the days, the years got behind me
and this land has bits of my heart:
grandfather, grandmother, brother and
soon sister will sit atop, amongst

family long fraught with distance

Wednesday, October 07, 2015

mother did it need to be so high

the tone of her voice attempts a tremble
smoothing to a familiar
condescension
betraying

the worry of her words

she has my number now
and won't stop calling

Tuesday, October 06, 2015

and then we'll take it higher

the breeze was cool, windows down
I sat in the back seat of my sister’s two-door
that would be mine one day
after she left, after she ran

Eddie Grant’s Electric Avenue jacked up high
street lights and the glare from late night store fronts blinding

Sister smiling behind the wheel

little fifteen and
I thought the world was mine

all about her

I was waiting for the trees to fall
to be cut, to be chipped
four days out
a sick day at home
a message; a call

I really thought my mother was dead by now
but it was her calling

the wrong person
at the wrong time
attempting the wrong decisions
requesting the wrong sentiment

sister gone, but still
it's all about mom, all about Her



Wednesday, September 23, 2015

little voice with a
little falter

big heart knows
big sorrow

and a mother thought dead these last years
a sister same

but I guess we all keep landing
on our feet

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

of blood and sinew

there’s a low hum
and a rasp
a catch of breathe on the intake

valves pumping

there are four valves of the heart
the heart is a muscle

the heart is a prickly thing
of blood and sinew

exposed to air overlong
blood dries black

I’d walk 
through fields of thistle

to see your smile

sonny

sometimes

it's enough to know you're alive...
the minutest indication

sometimes

Saturday, September 05, 2015

home

light spills
through windows
onto floors
of wood
of laminate
of pink tiles

air
the air feels
good

Friday, July 24, 2015

à nouveau

mon cœur est
un papillon

dans la danse de l'air
et atterrit
où elle atterrit

j’attendre
et attendre
pour elle de voler
à nouveau

~

my heart is
a butterfly

dancing in the air
and landing
where she lands

I wait
and wait
for her to fly
anew

Friday, June 26, 2015

on authority

I know I should move on.
I have; or was never stuck really

But I feel restless, fearless
and the long list of men beckons
waiting for my…
systemic aggregation

Maybe that’s why I don’t date;
too much information up front
too much thinking
not enough doing

I know I should….
…but I’ve always balked at ‘should’

hated being told what to do
how to think

If where I am feels good
why fuck with it?

Thursday, June 11, 2015

dark black gumbo

It had been raining torrentially, days too cold for Texas in May.

One morning, there were ducks in the yard. Not out back in one of the newly sprung ponds, but out front in the middle of the spongy expanse of St Augustine. Two young, beautiful Mallards, perhaps a mating pair, bathing. My own lady birds watched casually from the front window, no particular interest in things with feathers. I stopped to admire with them.

After years of drought and water conservation, even our lakes are overfull, spillways Rubenesque; the Trinity has breached its banks in the middle of a concrete city, a beautiful exodus daring man to encroach, and the dam at Bastrop broke, the lake emptying. It was far enough from Houston that only land was hurt, but ominous to see the bottom of a lake once full.

June finally arrived. We finally got sun last week but the heat came with it, and suddenly it’s an overbearing 95 and my hands burn on the wheel on the drive home. Heat. I recall huge cracks in the dark black gumbo we called land in the '70s growing up. It'll be a summer like that. 

Perhaps we’ve grown apart, my first love, the Texas heat and I. Perhaps I'm realizing I'm a woman full grown and some physical labor, though still good and right in my mind, over the years, has become somewhat beyond me. Definitely though, it’s the love bites from the Mosquitoes that adore me, leaving me low, and slightly fevered.

Though not as low as those dark days of torrential rain.

nowhere man

S- says things happen out of nowhere. Well I found Nowhere. It's in Oklahoma.


I'm not sure it's the place where things are happening. 

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

j'arrive

It’s not an apartment,
a blank slate; you can’t just
drop your things in and it feels like you

walls of mint and lavender
room alit in glow:
door to – star moon moon star star –  window
yard overgrown

I’m startled by the vastness
bring the girls to sleep
door closed; sleep
light on my back to view the room
when waking

plantlings on the sill
dishes drying verticle
on the same bamboo rack I bought
I’m not sure when

unsure of the destination

I’m suddenly here

she

In the garden
There was a girl
Amidst a field fallow
Tending roses
Brightly yellow

And where was he
But absent
In the recollection of days
Of tending the home
Of tending the marriage

Life takes effort
She gave for two

now she lives for one

Saturday, May 09, 2015

at will

words in rows in blocks in stacks
bound

edicts of conformed behavior
of prevalent social ideologies 
of obeyance
one must 
color within
use things for their intended purpose

between
on the fringe
in the white space
lives free thought
creativity

life is impermanent
love freely
and at will
do what you gotta do for you

just don't be a whore about it


neverwhere

we are each where we are in the world

Air to my earth
Earth to your air

binding, we walk the same land
connecting, we breath the same air

determining a oneness,
we gaze at the same moon and stars and Sun

and the  polarization of grounding vs flight?
and the nature of duality?

“I wish I could feel you tonight
In the world you’re so far away
I want to reach out
And touch your heart…”

            ~ Room at the Top, Tom Petty

Friday, May 01, 2015

how poetry flows

Loretta lingers
…a week and two days out

and the jumping through hoops is killing me

on the tipping-edge
…I teeter
in the unknowing

the expectation
of having
getting my shit together ripped away at the last moment

they don’t address all the good things
in the white space between words

all the
…trying

only the bad decisions
the actions
that kept my head above water
that kept me bleeding


…ink into warm water

Saturday, April 25, 2015

I am the son and the heir

I had known you once…
you were a budding hope
an Echo
that never took?
that let go too soon?

And I had known you twice…
A solid, clear knowing
my life was in the wrong place
at the wrong time

thrice..
when my brother lay dying
did I make the right decision?

and perhaps another
tall, slim, laughing eyes

only the Portuguese have a name…
for mourning things that never were


Saudade

Saturday, April 18, 2015

exultation is near

In three weeks I’ll close on a house
In three weeks I’ll move
In three weeks I’ll graduate

but today is full of the sun
the kind of day for watching
Papillion or Cool Hand Luke
for laying about with dogs napping

Today is the kind of day I’ll have

in four weeks…

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

wheel of fortune

I asked the World for little
she gave me knowledge;

I asked the World for money
she left me treading water;

I asked he World for love
she gave me work;

I asked the World for happiness

she gave me money.

forty-five

when your own hands are cold

dayin dayout


and you’ve learned not to lust