she rarely spoke aloud
but when she did
Be quiet!
rarely showed her excitement
Calm down!
was rarely demonstrative
Go
just
do something!
she learned to hide
learned to read
did not learn to socialize
and dreamt
so many things
her passion
her zeal
her awe
and joy
faded
she learned to watch
to think
to prod, to poke
to break
any goodness
undeserved
but really, wasn't it all?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
there's a sadness and joy to nonconformity
November 7, 2008 - Friday
she listens
She
never thought twice
about living in the now
she knew the odds up front
so she could love with abandon
deep and pure
knowing
it would end in time.
But faced with forever
she falters
heart guarded
the potential for hurt so great
she thinks…
'that boy's gonna break my heart'
but her hearts say…
"just let yourself go girl
just let yourself go"
and late one Friday night
she listens.
control
Mind
Body
Spirit
Heart
Soul
Libido
shards of a burst
suspended mid air
bright a shimmer
slightly shaking
in their ninja stance
await they to re-form
but for the moment
they watch ready
to strike, watch
me skid on concrete
arms and palms
outstretched
knees bloody
as my Will attempts
to control
when they are too ready
for the falling
for you.
October 30, 2008 - Thursday
Grace; or the internalization of God
I didn't think
long and hard
though I had studied
religion and church
for so long and even after
but the internalization of God
(the Christian God perhaps
but many aspects of others)
came easy when time was right.
I had long felt
we had labeled something
personified
that piece of self
we could no longer rationalize
we had cut Grace
from our soul
like a limb
from our body
when we swallowed
evil whole
embraced that which
kills and maims and harms
there simply was no room
Grace was spat out
on the street
cherry flavored chew
or wintergreen
but I picked her up one day
brushed her off
bathed her in rose and verbena
gave her a home.
I would rather there No god
out and about in the world
if Grace could but grow
in the heart.
seventeen
she
hasn't been this insecure
since she
was seventeen
and met a boy
skateboard in hand
shirt worn like a turban
drove that
monster old truck
worked
at the carwash
not quite nineteen
her first husband
no
she hasn't been this insecure
since she was seventeen
October 27, 2008 - Monday
lyric - guitar softly
he said
you're a darlin'
he meant
I won't be staying
and then the joy of the night it fell completely
cause she'd heard that line just too many goddamn times.
and all the nights
he filled with wonder
became
another mem'ry
so when anyone one
calls her sweetheart
she thinks
yeah here it comes
cause when he says you're a darlin'
does he mean he won't be stayin' the night
and sure as hell not forever?
and all the nights
he fills with wonder
and all the nights
he fills with wonder
and all the nights
he filled
with wonder
she listens
She
never thought twice
about living in the now
she knew the odds up front
so she could love with abandon
deep and pure
knowing
it would end in time.
But faced with forever
she falters
heart guarded
the potential for hurt so great
she thinks…
'that boy's gonna break my heart'
but her hearts say…
"just let yourself go girl
just let yourself go"
and late one Friday night
she listens.
control
Mind
Body
Spirit
Heart
Soul
Libido
shards of a burst
suspended mid air
bright a shimmer
slightly shaking
in their ninja stance
await they to re-form
but for the moment
they watch ready
to strike, watch
me skid on concrete
arms and palms
outstretched
knees bloody
as my Will attempts
to control
when they are too ready
for the falling
for you.
October 30, 2008 - Thursday
Grace; or the internalization of God
I didn't think
long and hard
though I had studied
religion and church
for so long and even after
but the internalization of God
(the Christian God perhaps
but many aspects of others)
came easy when time was right.
I had long felt
we had labeled something
personified
that piece of self
we could no longer rationalize
we had cut Grace
from our soul
like a limb
from our body
when we swallowed
evil whole
embraced that which
kills and maims and harms
there simply was no room
Grace was spat out
on the street
cherry flavored chew
or wintergreen
but I picked her up one day
brushed her off
bathed her in rose and verbena
gave her a home.
I would rather there No god
out and about in the world
if Grace could but grow
in the heart.
seventeen
she
hasn't been this insecure
since she
was seventeen
and met a boy
skateboard in hand
shirt worn like a turban
drove that
monster old truck
worked
at the carwash
not quite nineteen
her first husband
no
she hasn't been this insecure
since she was seventeen
October 27, 2008 - Monday
lyric - guitar softly
he said
you're a darlin'
he meant
I won't be staying
and then the joy of the night it fell completely
cause she'd heard that line just too many goddamn times.
and all the nights
he filled with wonder
became
another mem'ry
so when anyone one
calls her sweetheart
she thinks
yeah here it comes
cause when he says you're a darlin'
does he mean he won't be stayin' the night
and sure as hell not forever?
and all the nights
he fills with wonder
and all the nights
he fills with wonder
and all the nights
he filled
with wonder
