is this a haiku? I think it’s a haiku…

the things I have thought 

brought of importance are not 

what I’m taking home 

wringer

on the verge of tearing 

constantly while sitting with pain

I begin to understand

craving for a thing I will not touch

wayfinding

I

were you ever there

or had I dreamt it

those sixteen years

spent with you never there 

II

we didn’t actually share space 

I was in it while you were out

spending laughing chatting up

young girls on yahoo

III

recollecting places 

and spaces not people

connecting came much later 

after the Shattering 

and the shedding of you

when the alarm woke me not the sun

I

when walking was the warmup not the workout 

when salad was the appetizer not the entree

when the alarm woke me not the sun

II

when I was young my worries were 

insecurities weeping and self-second-guessing 

confidence in the logic of working to the bone

III

what is age but the awareness of living askew 

being told your existence is wrong 

yet in your Twilight not caring 

not all my genes fit

Mother was a 

leave it half done 

thrive on drama

do that this the other 

my way or the highway 

se ya later - wait! come here

I could get money for you?

Daddy was a 

don’t leave it, finish it

drama-avoiding 

get ‘er done: up an at em

you know where you can find sympathy?

always doing showing

independent go your own way

months and now I can’t open the jar

over vanilla beans halved and scraped 

whiskey poured slow to the brim

side-eyeing salivating patient lip-smacking 

as I walk past again and again 

months and now I can’t open the jar