wash rinse repeat

I

I’m always fighting

predicative text now in two

languages as if one weren’t 

enough - Birdie won’t go walk

every day all day patience 

is required here

II

overwhelmed in the quiet 

of a room half lit 

something outside…

my heart breaks 

for her shivering and ears prickled 

inconsolable when I awoke earlier 

to escape any madness 

I can’t pinpoint but no….

I am thwarted and there She is

lost in the unheard 

III

the entire country knows

I have a mouth on me now 

when wild dogs let out

to roam and terrorize 

come at my girl and me

on a perfectly good walk

my tongue cuts the quiet 

and eyes like daggers

scatter anyone near;

once a decade or two 

I am not myself 

wibble-wobble

I’ve grown 

to dislike tomato seeds

gelatinous to the touch to the tongue 

and messy foods

to my eyes unappealing 

to dislike disorder and yet

my bed stays unmade

fur on the floor even after a sweep 

dishes always needing a wash

mind slightly controlled chaos 

Robusta too bitter rips my stomach apart

the crackling of a blackened heart

amidst deep hues burnt red

drags down the bones

the flesh the sinew that connects 

hazed in a cool room mending

sweet-tea cooling beside the bed

not if but when

breathless is the heart

fit to burst 

as my Love grows I know 

she will break me 

as if the Shattering of you

was a mere nuisance 

and now my knees are cold

I

sleeping in summer’s scorching 

months of kicking restless 

flesh too hot for dreaming

light and sound at their slightest 

dazed in waking moments

all night long

II

last night I woke huddled 

in a blanket over cold ears

as She slept close, curled 

in chaos, in fall bedding dug 

into a nest in the night 

I never woke but the  once

craving lemon squares and fireball candies

I

there’s an offer on the house 

a fortnight ago given 

the second thought to have fell

through the ways of banks 

saying yes…but wait…

a wait-weight negated now 

I am asked to wait a few more days

while papers are sorted,

hope kept close lest it fade

II

it’s always come easy, the stillness 

of body and a gaze attentive 

learned I to live on others’ time 

even acknowledging with words 

understanding easy off the lips

It’s the mind, my mind, unseen

behind the wizard’s curtain 

where organized clutter thrums in baskets 

loosely woven, the cacophony discordant 

craves lemon squares and fireball candies