VR Cowboy

One tall drink of water on a hot Texas day,
Calm and cool with a smile on his face,
He tipped his hat and said “maam”.
Fair parched for days, she drunk him in with a languid gaze.
Constantly, a series of smilies ensued and words formed,
She with her blushes, he with his.
So much broad smiling and laughing her face was flushed a soft happy peach
While fingers flew with hearts fast beating
Constantly she opened further, caution to the wind
He stood there tall and lean in his virtuality, she stood poised in hers.
He asked and she answered in realizations without her preferred ruminations.
And the cowboy, cool and calm, hat tipped back, laughed.
She had no chance against that VR cowboy
With smiles like the sun reflecting an absence of color in the depths of sky blues eyes.
He had no chance against that girl in glasses and ink stained skin.

II. Little voice
Friday fades into a wine blushed haze as the little girl heart cries confusion and confession. Mouth pressing tight and warm into her bears, the words are small and deep. “This is some crazy fucked up shit.” And she lets go her control and opens up to vulnerability and allowance.

Days have passed shamelessly in bright smiles as if something real this way were coming. Yet when the work of possibilities collide to take their turn, they are no longer choice or chance but pallas (the spear of) fate and kismet no longer kissing ego or id.

Thinking 90mph about 8 different things that distract me when I cross the street and then a kiss that stops it all and my mind goes blank and the words won't form.

Soft happy peach slips into a brand new groove as sleep brings dreams of an emotion in shades of the absence of color. She blushes and smiles in validation.

I
Penguino sat atop a cliff looking out o’er the valley low
“If only I could fly”
His gaze wandered to the eagles next
The soaring and diving, "oh……”

II
Your eyes don’t
Smile anymore
And it seems
All my life was a dream
I shy sometimes at choices made
But move along into the next day.

III
When I was a child
I cried
Deeply into the night.
Your face came to me
Sweet and softly,
Indistinct.
Your voice wooed me
Calm, cool, succinct.
Your hands touched me
In passions longing
Of flesh.
Your lips kissed me
Wet and burning
All in the dreams
Of a shy girl’s
Yearning.

IV
Flattery of a pet name
So far from the truth it is sweet,
The way it makes me feel flustered.

I
Sometimes odd families form
From friendships made.
And to my motley crew,
Know I am happy.

II
Shades of gray turn pale
At the twist of a hip
And the quiver of a lip.

III
The road has been long – arduous.
I have faltered in step – briefly.
And the forms are coming clearly.
And I know who I am.

IV
I sat staring about, looking for naught
Then a fish swam by, gave me the eye,
And I fell in the creek, laughing.

For the cowboy:

Artist: Electric Six
Album: Fire
Song: Danger! High Voltage

Fucking shit if I forgot caskets have a warranty.

In my mind, skipping stones lightly across the water, I watch the surface break and it is incredible to exist in a single moment, just being still and breathing and touching.

Bring me up
Keep me high
I want to put
My lips to your ear
And whisper
“come on baby….
Let’s fly…….”

Nothing up unto the day they met matters. She has her story and he has his and the expression of such hopefully only gains each an understanding of the other.

premise:
She’s a city girl, southern at heart. There’s a girl inside who longs to sit on back porches drinking ice tea from tall sweating glasses while screen doors slam and children play in the yard. It is in her mind, the semblance of family, of comfort of stillness. These things calm her. When she was young she played in the yard. She played mostly with the grasses and the earth. Flowers and berries making delicate mud pies. She read indoors, slouched in her bed till her body ached. She slept hard and deep and dreamed the dreams of children. She was timid and contemplative.

No, I never stop thinking even in stillness.

You said, ‘write me a poem,’ so I draw breath and tap the quill to my vein but find it dry.
The doctor took vials last Wednesday, looking for that which will tell him nothing.
It’s not that easy, my soul moves just beneath the flesh, a specter, a rolling vein.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
My nose is red,
How about you?

Mouth on long fingers, she smiled around them
Brightly, silently new, in need her soul whispered,
Laughing like water on the breeze coming off the lake
The simplicity of existing overcame her and the fathomless
Depths of mind blew in the wake, a lightness of being interrupting id.
She was pleased as the taste of sun and salt and skin became her without guile.
Calm and cool she thrills, asking for a brief interlude of indeterminate depth and duration.

Be happy the dead men called. Yes, Robert, if I could live my life for you, but
I have become instead, from hasty shades of dullard gray the immense and burning sun.
Daddy said it’s his lot. He sat with his grandparents and parents and sister and son, and others as they lay still, passing. Yes, Daddy, same as it’s mine to be pillars of the earth.

In a 24/7 unmitigated need, I have thought so long, so hard. I set that aside now to feed my soul for it is a part of me just like the rest. You can only beat yourself up for so long or until your arms get tired. I am breathing, JS, just like you told me I should and the stillness is deafening, all I can hear is the beating of my heart and the pulsing of my veins, the throbbing. It feels right for now. Slept poorly last night, dreamed lovely things and oddness. Too much water, too late in the day? Perhaps and then there is the new day coming and I am nervous, excited, the future is variable and tentative, it thrills me, challenges me. And schools starts soon, ink on paper, hands caressing cracked spines, more challenge and my mind is alive and soaring along with my soul.

I am antithetical to myself and for all the strength of mountains I too hold the same in gold's weight of snowflakes. I am flesh and blood of desire and passion. I am thought in need of intellect and challange. I am human in respect and admiration. I am me.