Monday, July 31, 2006
asking for divorce
the gown was thin
gauze
white
cheap.
it was too warm,
hot even
for mid-October.
I sat
pressed
clutching
cool leather
against my face
feet drawn up
beneath the gown
weeping softly
looking away.
the sofa
was not long enough
not for the both of us.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
necessities
organic dark roast
and meds for dinner
and I remember
thinking brownies
for breakfast was
an adult decision.
this shit, this shit is
just cause life sucks
and sometimes,
sometimes you just
get tired and get by
on necessities. and
some days breakfast
is a fistful of vitamins.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
lend my own soul solace
I dream of the earth
and the ocean calling,
a feeling articulated:
it takes a tribe
to raise
the children.
I have slept hard and
fevered, wakening
having found my path.
It is not too late
for the tribe
for the children
for me to walk soft
lend my own soul
solace and lead.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
written march 1988:
There is the sun - out there
and I can only see it
though the crisp cool breeze
embraces me.
I cannot feel the warmth
yet how I long to.
These iron bonds hold me
even when my will is weak.
I do what I must do
to not be beaten.
Soon I will be free
and upon that second
I will fly among
the rays of the sun.
to posess another
As the cool moon fades
and the sun comes
to warm my heart,
in this moment I know
some measure of peace.
Last nights smiles
still linger soft across
my flesh flushed pink.
Again, thoughts of why
your friendship warms me...
Confucius asks,
Can there be a love
which does not make
demands on its' object?
This, this is the base
of my transcendence
for without the need
to possess another
I find my freedom.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
cheap fucking plastic
The traction drifted down
into the tub in tiny
cheap silver flakes,
the pipe tape still snug
after thirteen years of
binding metal to...
cheap fucking plastic,
I muttered to the air.
The brochure had said
new fixtures,
but most weren't.
Most were coated with
bits of paint. No prep work.
They didn't even prep to paint.
I guess I'm just
my father's daughter
- not a daddy's girl
but my father's daughter.
He taught me
when you do things
you do them right and
when you make promises
you make good.
What to do?
call maintenance, let them
see the botched job
and how my girl's arms
and unsteady wrench
couldn't do it?
Ask a male friend
into my intimate abode?
No, no no no...
I'm calling my Daddy
and see what he says
then I'll get
this damn job done.
I won't let cheap
fucking plastic win.
Friday, July 21, 2006
on bravery and inspiration
A car can only run for so long
on an empty tank, a body
last only so long without food
and water...nourishment.
What to do when external fuel
sources are scarce or not
the fuel or source you need?
Ah, but to go stark raving mad?
Or perhaps retreat and attempt
to refuel through self-efficacy
as you always have done,
as it seems you always will.
But for a moments grace
pray all understand
the cost of perseverance
is sometimes the teetering
of the mind between
courage and none before
inspiration is found and
the hardening of the heart
before bravery takes heed.
