good people in Texas
they’re hard to find like a
firefly in the city
or a slow drive down a
one lane country road
windows down and
music up, singing off-key
while my heart beats
a yellow rose in a
star-bright hue
hand in dirt, hand in water
stoking embers of an
unspoken thing
only born Texans know
no holler to quit
the slamming of
the back porch door
I look about, walkabout
soul-hurt with the leaving
but know it's time
I don’t recall how or when I got this particular ornament, but I was 17 approaching 18 and it was the first Christmas spent with my now ex-husband. I’m pretty sure my life was full of hope and (false) promises, but I can’t recall those either. I know in the beginning he would bring me flowers, flowers pulled from someone else’s yard. In the end though, his mind was anywhere else and I was left in shards from losing my brother.
in My life
there is no god
creation
religion
only the spirituality of a
Oneness
an existence in
singularity dark
Glory
I wore black so long
I thought my favorite color was gray;
Approaching light
The full spectrum comes into view
living in the white space
between lines, between words
between the micro dots of ink
on paper, on flesh
where we pause
for breath, for cognition
should pause, but rarely do;
from the fringe, the shadow
unseen we peek, observe
wait to step in
should step in, but rarely do
would prefer not to
entering April
Laura Renee…
fighting fierce
not on your own terms, sadly
but against the gaslighting
that was Mother
observing from a distance
loving you was easy
you were beautiful
even when your sharp mind
muddled; and you had no path
your ashes interred
in the arms of Brother
our stories
gone
with my own mind aging
a three year plan is
bullshit when you're ready to go
the day before yesterday
there’s an ache
where my
spine hits my skull
but just to
the left
a throbbing up a tenseness down
into my
shoulder my arm
along my
torso it falls flitters
loose loosely
away and back again
grasping thrashing
reattaching it
coils
around my
belly my chi
it’s the
years months days hours
the milliseconds
accumulated
piling
pushing forward and through
always
forward
always
through
exhaustion
where whence
how
why
does the
soul manifest in the flesh