September 2, 2008 - Tuesday
lyric 14
Hard to believe it's not just
another distant space
and then you're running
back to me
But now you're gone
and I'm alone again
i'm just me again
This day
was always there
Always
On the morrow
And
You were always leaving
I even tried to set you free
Once
But you'd come running
back to me
And I loved you
And I let you
And
You were always leaving
I even tried to set you free
But now you're gone
and I'm alone again
I'm just me again
Just me
again
lyric 12
If I could live
one more hour
in your eyes
under your skin
I would live
a lie too sweet
all the nights
we made love
my heart was free
I felt complete
and you were there
in the moment
all the days
you thought about me
in your world
when I felt
you ignored me
I was confused
all the while
until we touched
again
and again
If I could live
one more hour
in your eyes
under your skin
I would live
a lie too sweet
1:49 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
august
August 29, 2008 - Friday
letting time pass slow
September comes
on the morrow three
and the heat
no abatement alludes
too warmed bones press out
drying flesh
parched lips
never quenched thirst
organs boiling
lover – if that –
from the past
sought; fractured
allusions to the one just gone
Texas, my land, my heart
is sore in her summer
of cracked black gumbo
cicadae soft
yet perhaps the latter
is the years
and my own impending
silence
this year
I wilt with my summer
with my land; fan the gnats away
brain a drift; indifferent
languid
letting time pass slow
August 28, 2008 - Thursday
parts work
I didn't even mean to fall-in with this one guy
we don't even really click so much
but he's a good guy and
on the rare occasion we actually hook-up,
great fun
gets to me every time, which is not that easy.
That's all it is really
except I do like to hear him talk,
really like his writing
and can see what he meant that first time
(a few years back)
when he said don't fall for him.
I can see how most girls do.
The other day someone had asked a friend
"Who's she seeing right now…"
I replied with a "Why do I always have to
be seeing someone..."
I suppose it's that struggle for self-identity
after a long marriage that was kickin' in,
but in case some of you wondered...
Me?
I'll settle for not clicking on occasion;
hell, at least my parts still work.
letting time pass slow
September comes
on the morrow three
and the heat
no abatement alludes
too warmed bones press out
drying flesh
parched lips
never quenched thirst
organs boiling
lover – if that –
from the past
sought; fractured
allusions to the one just gone
Texas, my land, my heart
is sore in her summer
of cracked black gumbo
cicadae soft
yet perhaps the latter
is the years
and my own impending
silence
this year
I wilt with my summer
with my land; fan the gnats away
brain a drift; indifferent
languid
letting time pass slow
August 28, 2008 - Thursday
parts work
I didn't even mean to fall-in with this one guy
we don't even really click so much
but he's a good guy and
on the rare occasion we actually hook-up,
great fun
gets to me every time, which is not that easy.
That's all it is really
except I do like to hear him talk,
really like his writing
and can see what he meant that first time
(a few years back)
when he said don't fall for him.
I can see how most girls do.
The other day someone had asked a friend
"Who's she seeing right now…"
I replied with a "Why do I always have to
be seeing someone..."
I suppose it's that struggle for self-identity
after a long marriage that was kickin' in,
but in case some of you wondered...
Me?
I'll settle for not clicking on occasion;
hell, at least my parts still work.
july
July 16, 2008 - Wednesday
the weight of the air
In the denotative
sense of the word,
the action
'to kill"
I have killed a man.
But what books don't say
your drugged out stupor
yelling
you were not ready to go
as I watched from the hall
accusations
to the vacant room
and the weight of the air
at the threshold
where I took a breath
but could not enter
and the drugs
as they left you
as I took them away
unable to speak
save
for your eyes
pleading.
I have seen
my father low,
sister falling,
mother going mad,
and in the denotative
sense of the word,
the action
'to kill"...
I weep for my brother.
July 11, 2008 - Friday
the way brothers do
Big Brother says,
"keep doing what you're doing
and you'll keep getting what you're getting."
Of course my verbal reply
was "six hours of amazing sex
with a lover I adore?" and a wicked smile.
He frowned
the way brothers do
knowing I knew better.
And all through frowns
and smiles
I was thinking,
'don't you think
I wish I weren't
some pup….too in awe of men.'
July 7, 2008 - Monday
poem for t.c.
nose soft
along his jaw
his ear
on his collar
faint scent
cigarettes
and pot
and on his tongue?
suckled I
faint again
cigarettes
and cherry beer
flesh
long and lean
I devoured
lovers few
and far between
but each
I never forget
too much
around me
to not recall
nights
of wonder
and how
I found me
in your arms
July 5, 2008 - Saturday
transient
I sold books today,
my desk last week
to buy gas (if that)
hopefully paint
so I can
rent my place
go to another
ghetto, one of youth
instead of hookers
cheaper, North
away from my city
my city
I mourned you
these last years anyway
books! words!
of others
my life blood
once
I consumed like
beer
chips
and salsa
another life
before
I came alive
before
I found my own words
July 4, 2008 - Friday
in the ghetto
In the ghetto
guns
are poppin' off
drunk
on meat and sauce
happy
we make
our own
fire in the sky
in the ghetto
in the ghetto
with my degree
and grad school
application
fireworks in the distance
Do you remember
that year atop the Texas Star
(oh we were
so young then)
and the fireworks
in the distance.
It wasn't all bad,
my husband;
it was just
the fireworks
were so far away
or perhaps
the manifestation
of my own desire.
If the latter
I am sorry
so sorry.
July 2, 2008 - Wednesday
strong
I was young
oh
a girl of twenty
maybe
and we
had been together
three years already
why that year?
I can't say
but I was crazy about you,
the receptacle of all my giving
my husband,
mate…
until the day I knew to leave.
Then suddenly
I was not so young
a woman
of almost thirty-four
who left
knowing
her desire
could be consuming
but willing
to face the world
alone,
strong.
the weight of the air
In the denotative
sense of the word,
the action
'to kill"
I have killed a man.
But what books don't say
your drugged out stupor
yelling
you were not ready to go
as I watched from the hall
accusations
to the vacant room
and the weight of the air
at the threshold
where I took a breath
but could not enter
and the drugs
as they left you
as I took them away
unable to speak
save
for your eyes
pleading.
I have seen
my father low,
sister falling,
mother going mad,
and in the denotative
sense of the word,
the action
'to kill"...
I weep for my brother.
July 11, 2008 - Friday
the way brothers do
Big Brother says,
"keep doing what you're doing
and you'll keep getting what you're getting."
Of course my verbal reply
was "six hours of amazing sex
with a lover I adore?" and a wicked smile.
He frowned
the way brothers do
knowing I knew better.
And all through frowns
and smiles
I was thinking,
'don't you think
I wish I weren't
some pup….too in awe of men.'
July 7, 2008 - Monday
poem for t.c.
nose soft
along his jaw
his ear
on his collar
faint scent
cigarettes
and pot
and on his tongue?
suckled I
faint again
cigarettes
and cherry beer
flesh
long and lean
I devoured
lovers few
and far between
but each
I never forget
too much
around me
to not recall
nights
of wonder
and how
I found me
in your arms
July 5, 2008 - Saturday
transient
I sold books today,
my desk last week
to buy gas (if that)
hopefully paint
so I can
rent my place
go to another
ghetto, one of youth
instead of hookers
cheaper, North
away from my city
my city
I mourned you
these last years anyway
books! words!
of others
my life blood
once
I consumed like
beer
chips
and salsa
another life
before
I came alive
before
I found my own words
July 4, 2008 - Friday
in the ghetto
In the ghetto
guns
are poppin' off
drunk
on meat and sauce
happy
we make
our own
fire in the sky
in the ghetto
in the ghetto
with my degree
and grad school
application
fireworks in the distance
Do you remember
that year atop the Texas Star
(oh we were
so young then)
and the fireworks
in the distance.
It wasn't all bad,
my husband;
it was just
the fireworks
were so far away
or perhaps
the manifestation
of my own desire.
If the latter
I am sorry
so sorry.
July 2, 2008 - Wednesday
strong
I was young
oh
a girl of twenty
maybe
and we
had been together
three years already
why that year?
I can't say
but I was crazy about you,
the receptacle of all my giving
my husband,
mate…
until the day I knew to leave.
Then suddenly
I was not so young
a woman
of almost thirty-four
who left
knowing
her desire
could be consuming
but willing
to face the world
alone,
strong.
june
June 28, 2008 - Saturday
and August days with hours
He could not compare
– that boy of summer –
to Ra in his brilliance,
blonde hair
spread wide against cool white linens
while we slept
for all there was, was sleep
and innocent nights, few;
but he would stay
– that boy of summer –
a thousand times longer
holding back the winter
with August days
with hours
from which I would awake
dizzy, breathless,
spent
heart sore and not the one.
this girl she is
she never meant to follow
the academic track
or Quest
for knowledge and meaning
to get her life together
however long it took
(and it is taking
overlong)
she never meant
to have a lover
in her bed
for hours, days on end
never meant
a short list of them
or to give her heart
to any
or to feel so cruel
the absence of one
from her bed
even longer
she never meant
to thirst
or dream
or be this girl
she is
June 24, 2008 - Tuesday
over and over
Over
and over
the lyrics
the songs
until one day
– when the lights die
and the words
will spur the rhythm
and the beat will stir
from the depths,
strong in her being –
she will face the dark.
But today she wists
in the half-lit night,
over
and over
the lyrics
the songs
her tears
the dark looming.
June 17, 2008 - Tuesday
sine nauseam
living on tortillas
oatmeal
vitamins
vitamins from the discount store
birth control
from Health Services
ad nauseam
the sight of consumption
without thought
without means
in debt bondaged
oh sweet my life
where guilt is coffee
nine dollars a pound
to wash down
the tortillas
the vitamins
something with taste
to accompany
laughter as I live
sine nauseam
June 14, 2008 - Saturday
the years
I
slim
she walked, eyes cast down
slight and gentle
the cut of her jaw
long blond hair
past her waist
past her hips
slim again
bright the green
Murphy eyes
that girl
of twenty-two, reserved
shy;
the years still ahead
of finding grace in crowds
and ease around men
stunning
any would call you
looking back
though you never knew it
for no one ever told you
II
swaying
she walks,
short blond hair
bright the green
Murphy eyes
shining
lively
a woman
of thirty-eight, alive
full breasts
curves
at the hip
the belly
jaw line full;
behind her
the weight of hours
of finding grace within
and ease around men
lovely
some would call you
though you barely know it
you do try
for friends surrounding tell you
June 6, 2008 - Friday
off the shore of the long forgotten
off the shore
of the long forgotten
battlements of Vieques
far enough
the land was small
I gazed out
upon
a wide vast ocean
and knew
I was just a speck
in it all
June 5, 2008 - Thursday
I had not imagined the first
perhaps I had been waiting
these three odd years for them
these days since
the house now gone
I didn't know it
couldn't
but the fireflies came
finally
in the heat of early June
this eve
and they danced
near enough
yet far away
though only two
they
were still a they
confirming
I had not imagined the first
and on the wind away
away
they drew
in my heart
in the faint lit night
fireflies bright
for which I had been waiting
only never knew
June 4, 2008 - Wednesday
she wonders yes
on occasion
every year
or two or so
she comes
across a heart
she has to touch
then lets them flee
recalls them later
smiles soft and wonders
she wonders yes,
but fleet
and August days with hours
He could not compare
– that boy of summer –
to Ra in his brilliance,
blonde hair
spread wide against cool white linens
while we slept
for all there was, was sleep
and innocent nights, few;
but he would stay
– that boy of summer –
a thousand times longer
holding back the winter
with August days
with hours
from which I would awake
dizzy, breathless,
spent
heart sore and not the one.
this girl she is
she never meant to follow
the academic track
or Quest
for knowledge and meaning
to get her life together
however long it took
(and it is taking
overlong)
she never meant
to have a lover
in her bed
for hours, days on end
never meant
a short list of them
or to give her heart
to any
or to feel so cruel
the absence of one
from her bed
even longer
she never meant
to thirst
or dream
or be this girl
she is
June 24, 2008 - Tuesday
over and over
Over
and over
the lyrics
the songs
until one day
– when the lights die
and the words
will spur the rhythm
and the beat will stir
from the depths,
strong in her being –
she will face the dark.
But today she wists
in the half-lit night,
over
and over
the lyrics
the songs
her tears
the dark looming.
June 17, 2008 - Tuesday
sine nauseam
living on tortillas
oatmeal
vitamins
vitamins from the discount store
birth control
from Health Services
ad nauseam
the sight of consumption
without thought
without means
in debt bondaged
oh sweet my life
where guilt is coffee
nine dollars a pound
to wash down
the tortillas
the vitamins
something with taste
to accompany
laughter as I live
sine nauseam
June 14, 2008 - Saturday
the years
I
slim
she walked, eyes cast down
slight and gentle
the cut of her jaw
long blond hair
past her waist
past her hips
slim again
bright the green
Murphy eyes
that girl
of twenty-two, reserved
shy;
the years still ahead
of finding grace in crowds
and ease around men
stunning
any would call you
looking back
though you never knew it
for no one ever told you
II
swaying
she walks,
short blond hair
bright the green
Murphy eyes
shining
lively
a woman
of thirty-eight, alive
full breasts
curves
at the hip
the belly
jaw line full;
behind her
the weight of hours
of finding grace within
and ease around men
lovely
some would call you
though you barely know it
you do try
for friends surrounding tell you
June 6, 2008 - Friday
off the shore of the long forgotten
off the shore
of the long forgotten
battlements of Vieques
far enough
the land was small
I gazed out
upon
a wide vast ocean
and knew
I was just a speck
in it all
June 5, 2008 - Thursday
I had not imagined the first
perhaps I had been waiting
these three odd years for them
these days since
the house now gone
I didn't know it
couldn't
but the fireflies came
finally
in the heat of early June
this eve
and they danced
near enough
yet far away
though only two
they
were still a they
confirming
I had not imagined the first
and on the wind away
away
they drew
in my heart
in the faint lit night
fireflies bright
for which I had been waiting
only never knew
June 4, 2008 - Wednesday
she wonders yes
on occasion
every year
or two or so
she comes
across a heart
she has to touch
then lets them flee
recalls them later
smiles soft and wonders
she wonders yes,
but fleet
may
May 16, 2008 - Friday
lyric 7 - without guile
I am yours, we both know
lay me down, cover me
your body
heavy on my heart
suddenly, I am far away
floating in the possession
of your smile.
and if this breath that leaves me
never comes again
hungrily we loved
without guile.
May 14, 2008 - Wednesday
lyric 6
like a moth to a flame-<
and on past again>
but for a while-->
she flickers in his light-->
wings beat and broke>
as she flutters next to close>
and her scent of burning-->
on the breeze-->
oh----
oh----
oh-----
she's a woman---now>
she comes and goes—>
comes and goes---->
May 10, 2008 - Saturday
May is here
May is here
and your would have been forty-second birthday
is nearing
but now you are ever my younger brother
not my older
And the days are fading
when I think of how your death made me
but I still think on you
on my decisions and your slow leaving
on my decisions and your slow leaving
and how your death made me
made us all
May 4, 2008 - Sunday
lyric four
young girl
alone in her bed
little heart
beating
little hands
finding
she slips away
humming
strumming
gently
wanting
wanting
lyric 7 - without guile
I am yours, we both know
lay me down, cover me
your body
heavy on my heart
suddenly, I am far away
floating in the possession
of your smile.
and if this breath that leaves me
never comes again
hungrily we loved
without guile.
May 14, 2008 - Wednesday
lyric 6
like a moth to a flame-<
and on past again>
but for a while-->
she flickers in his light-->
wings beat and broke>
as she flutters next to close>
and her scent of burning-->
on the breeze-->
oh----
oh----
oh-----
she's a woman---now>
she comes and goes—>
comes and goes---->
May 10, 2008 - Saturday
May is here
May is here
and your would have been forty-second birthday
is nearing
but now you are ever my younger brother
not my older
And the days are fading
when I think of how your death made me
but I still think on you
on my decisions and your slow leaving
on my decisions and your slow leaving
and how your death made me
made us all
May 4, 2008 - Sunday
lyric four
young girl
alone in her bed
little heart
beating
little hands
finding
she slips away
humming
strumming
gently
wanting
wanting