The catalysts of three are haunting;
Life, death and passion and how they broke
Spirit, faith and trust with myself.
I began the reparation of those things I lost
And began the discovery of soul,
Deep and unfathomable.

I have been lost in passion and
I have loved both unselfishly and unconditionally.
My heart has broken through my own design and
My heart has broken beautifully.
I have known no regrets and have grown.
I thought something incomparable and
I thought I could never find those things again.
And yet here I am having surpassed those depths.
And yet here I am and there you are.

Zen and I reside in the stillness of present.
That's not to say I don't have hopes and dreams for the future.

From 6:46 a.m. post

I will cross roads and take paths when they manifest before me and no sooner. They reside in the silent shade of the infinite possibilities of the future, a gray haze on a new spring day. I know where they lead and that soon I will want one over the other. And still, I may come to a field of wheat and corn or a copse of trees and make my own way. I will enjoy the journey regardless of its destination. I look around and find my god in nature.

Palms sway in the breeze, sun on the water, the sand warm. You stand there in the distance, Robert, gaze intent, smiling like your picture of old when we were young and the world had not yet crept in. You watch me in my joy from that distant stillness standing, immobile, sure as the day I killed you, sure as the day you met the earth. Your eyes tell me you simply watch and that things are right in the world.

What are your dreams, cowboy, and your fears? How do you imagine you'll live the rest of your life? Tell me your deepest thoughts and I will hold them close in the wonder of knowing you. Give me the trust at least, that I would never harm you except for the marring of your flesh. My tongue running the length of the cut, your blood on my lips. Face flush, shallow breathe, the desire of possession is strong.