I still believe
Hope
That someone I can love
Will also love me truly
And in passion and happiness

In response to stimuli,
Inside me, there is a seed
It’s cold and dark and chilling
And I touch it when I have to
To save myself...to survive
To push others away. And yet
I cannot find it lately.

I write in the fuzzy haze of a fever forming and exhaustion from the week so busy. The thoughts are many and more than I can keep contained. So much to do an I think ideally that it would be so much easier for two. But it wasn’t and the extent of that broke me after a while. I believe we are none of us, static beings, so I stretched and pushed and evolved. Each of us possess a core. I stabilized mine until it was full up and firm. Now, its’ balance holding me, it pushes out in a radiating hum with the identity of self and though life is hard right now, I am happy.