Stumbled across this journal entry and became...too overwhelmed not to post it forever in my memory.

for...Skye Marie

Saturday, May 3, 2003
My sickness since the twenty-seventh has become progressively worse, and reached its height last night when I could hardly sleep for the pain in my head and the nausea in my stomach. We have only been trying for a few months, and just last month I finally learned to count the days. My body has betrayed me, thrown me into this doubt. Testing on the first was negative. This morning, Saturday, May third, there was a brief spotting and I almost wept, but still, no free flowing menstration, only the little spot. It is my hope that you, my darling child, were conceived on the sixteenth of April when I fell asleep after making love with your father, the evidence of his desire still with me. That you have traveled and transformed, my impish zygote, making my own body betray me, that this morning, it was you, my mighty blastocyst, that have implanted yourself firmly to my uteran wall. I did not want just any child. I want you, my tiny Capricorn, no larger than a lima bean, still and soon, my baby bean. Tomorrow is Sunday, and I’ll take the test again, and if it is negative, I’ll take it again in a few more days. My body has never betrayed me with such passion and ardor. And yet, I’ll bear down, just for you, my baby Rubella, in your tentative weeks of life. I can only hope you will not break my heart and leave too soon. Please wait, break my heart in your adolescence.

she didn't wait, but then I wouldn't be who I am today, would I...