I’m gonna disseminate here for a bit, falling apart after an incredible high. I can still feel that thing looming, beautifully. But I can’t touch it and I weep. Though my sadness may be a sense of loss, that’s not “the thing”, and I cry because my journey has been glorious, but I still cannot attain it. I am so close. The realization I desire still escapes me.

I stepped out of me and it was not altogether uncomfortable, but feeling, wanting, I think I wanna go back, draw tightly into that hard little shell.