The need was great
I did not succumb.
Desires not of the flesh
Manifest in slow form,
And reveal trueness of spirit.
Desire, passion I have known
Love I have held.
It’s about the future I will not
Await but step forth now.

Step forth now
into the purpose of being
and know thyself.

The future will unfold just as it should.

Martin! Martin! It's a good day not to be dead, and, and, I am happy.
Question me this and answer not
but ponder well in act and thought:
Is it our sole purpose to develop into a solitary entity, or to connect
with another living soul...
to love deeply yet live freely...

Say hello to Sheree, my friend, I know you're stalking me....you suck as a stalker. It was good to talk to you yester eve and Oklahoma isn't too far away....friends deep and true come along not often, don't loose me somewhere along the side of the road. *snif snif

"Why can't we give ourselves one more chance"
"why don't we give love one more chance"
"love is an old fashioned word"
"this is ourselves under pressure"

I bought flowers yesterday, Bubba, deep purple iris like those on your casket. The ones your boys took home. On the sixteenth I was in a panic: Journal entry 06/16/2004:
So I turned on all the fucking lights. I can’t remember the day he died. Today, tomorrow, or even if it’s been two or three years. But his heart stopped and then his lungs. And March nineteenth we buried him to months before his thirty-six birthday. To the date, we buried him.

Tread soft the light blue crush
As not to startle or to shy.
Fall not easily this next time
But with purpose
Think the tender heart,
Future and seed in mind.

My heart
Loves deeply
And bleeds
Beautifully
Said I one January.

I saw you Sunday
Then thought of you yester morn
And again today in waking.
The quiet repose and inurgency
Startles with soft smiles.

And I am thinking with heart beating, “ah, just wait, let’s see”.

Rainy day come and gone
And the morrow was damp wth the richness of soil and growth.
"Cool touch on too hot flesh", the thought came but not the words.
In stillness I reside restless.

While the light blue crush beneath me smiles
I grow timid and reserved.

Today
All my passion burns in deep liquid fire
As death calls to me sweetly and in the cycle of life
I awake to the earth. I am comfort and home.

Yesterday
I stepped off into sky blue dreams, floating weightless
I wonder if I hadn’t been looking for a reason to leave.

The sixteenth, the seventeenth? I can’t recall.
Only the nineteenth when they opened the casket
And it was not you. It was not you.

I should have clung to him, instead I drew apart.
Skye Marie in my heart I knew I did not want
And so desperately to keep.

I like the other well enough, but love?
Sometimes you find true love but it doesn’t love you back.

Cause I say
I ain't looking for da man
But dem bones H say,
"Are you sure".
Now I wonder sweetly
If he weren't right.
Though happy
I still wonder
He be right.

The flesh is not weak; it is a manifestation of the soul’s desire.

I learned a long time ago not to wait for someone else to buy me flowers.

Just a few more days Robert and it'll be three years since you left in the night.

Lean back on strong arms and fingers lightly trailing, warm mouth and wide smiles.

In my skin I am happy with G, H, J and J, just as we are. I hesitate with others.