she don’t smoke
she don't smoke
but the quite faint scent
of cigarettes and herb
on a man's collar
on his cheek
on his flesh
drives her mad
October 16, 2007 - Tuesday
clinging wet to my calf
water pressure billows
the curtain in
clinging wet to my calf
and I am out of soap
use the tea tree
that sucks the moisture
from my body
but I am a writer now
making things last,
worry, no insurance
and getting by.
in conversation
with my father
he offered to send money
I said let's see, wait
till I get there
and he said aw baby…
he muffles a cough
I muffle a weep
daddy…
all this time
and he never said
he needed a daughter
I never asked
for a father
all those years
but they got me here
here, I am here
now.
what she wants
is this the point where she waits
lets him call?
only brief came the thought
wild heart
beating
off
she forgets
and picks up to dial
she may not know what she wants
but wants to get it
October 15, 2007 - Monday
she takes lovers
My first bit of advice on ending
a marriage poorly; don't. But
sometimes the world skews,
the subconscious knows…
She was
thirty-three.
married sixteen years,
to a man stood third in a short line.
She was not new to men
She was new to herself.
He was,
one tall drink of water,
her first lover,
always ready
six steps before they touched
and swallowed her whole.
October 14, 2007 - Sunday
starlight accross oceans
never let your chi go
your power
never to another
it cheats you both
and death comes too easy
to waste a day.
I have set with death
watched his eyes wide
pleading, accusing,
and he may chase me
through fields of flame
and he may catch me
but not before I trail-
blaze starlight
accross oceans.
the rate at which things burn
four-twenty a.m.
woke up groggy
sometimes admitting to a thing
makes it okay
and this was just
light
laughter.
and suddenly
I am
splintered
sometimes acting on a thing
gets it out of your system
or spurs
an addiction
maybe
I just like
to test
the tensile strength of flesh
to know
the rate at which things burn
and
break
October 12, 2007 - Friday
the will to hold it/was
we burned in fire
that was bright white
but splinter in the limbo
in the distance
in the separation
that feeds you
be assured, it is not the
love that fades
but the will to hold it
to hold you, and the need
my body was made
for man, my heart
for love, my soul to give
my being to consume.
perdu
sometimes, I think
in soft soliloquy
and bad snippets
of French and Japanese;
it is not so much
the word's form as
the specific syllabic
utterance, quand
je suis perdu,
but not that, I meant
to say tread soft
and with deliberation
or tread not at all.
October 9, 2007 - Tuesday
we left things undone
I am suddenly haunted by the past
things left half said
panties drenched
corsets left half laced
a day when I was a girl, young
of fifteen or sixteen, and
a boy that made me curious
my first taste of
sucking on the tongue of rebellion
he was smug
attitude
a broken wing
shipped off to military school
where are you,
we left things undone…
September 22, 2007 - Saturday
time in me
please come, O Yule,
my Januare to sooth,
renew me in faith
this life no longer
spent in recourse
but burst forth will I
on the tundra, plains
and cities in quest;
soon my life soon
will it stretch lean
and languid, soft
of a brave new peace
invest time in me.
September 19, 2007 - Wednesday
the greater power
sweetly you beg
me not to cry
and I am lost in the moment
lost to the world
lost in you
you control the staying
I the leaving
perhaps I weep
for possession
of the greater power
as well as in want of you
life was easier
when I could walk away
without regret
and didn't stay
