loved once, unconditionally
Perhaps I saw you in the mirror
while I was dreaming. Bits of you
I love about me reflected in walls.
Your half drunk smile. Flesh.
When I touched your hair, course,
bleached tips hiding tender ears.
The taste of you...sweet laughter.
But was it you that was so beautiful?
Or me? What I allowed myself to be?
You are...just a man with fallacies
of a man; fallacies that endear. I am
just a women that allowed briefness.
fragments of stream
too much water in my chi
I am scared
noone to hold me
must stop crying at work.
some paths are
so long so hard
I am tired of
survival,
perseverance
endurance.
untitled - finished
Suddenly I wanted
to save the world
educate the world
suddenly I felt able
to rise to the challenge
of hard work. But now
threads of the universe -
my transcendence
my chi, my aura -
feel slick with sweat
muddled, shut down.
How do I find
the paths I once forged?
How to appease
the great magnet?
All I know is that
it is a changing time
and no more can I live
at my own whim. For
when you let others in
you take the chance
of no longer being
able to die alone. But
I have pushed away
some and others
ran like mad.
So don't you think
I know that when they
find me old and gray
they will also find
a room filled with favors
of endless friendship,
favors and promises
as well as books, words,
crawling with webs
and dust and mold.
Don't you think I know
they will find me alone?
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
untitled - unfinished
Suddenly I wanted
to save the world
educate the world
suddenly I felt able
to rise to the challenge
of hard work. But now
threads of the universe -
my transcendence
my chi, my aura -
feel slick with sweat
muddled, shut down.
How do I find
the paths I once forged?
How to appease
the great magnet?
All I know is that
it is a changing time
and no more can I live
at my own whim. For
when you let others in
you take the chance
of no longer being
able to die alone. But
don�t you think
I know that when they
find me old and gray
they will also find
a room filled with favors
of endless friendship
favors and promises
as well as books and words.
Monday, July 17, 2006
demons shouldn't play cards with ladies from Texas
Dealer dealt my hand,
eyes wicked wild and wide.
I hated house deals but
scratched my head,
tipped my cards,
let my face go pale,
slack and ashen.
I stopped in thought...
some people fear
the depths of their soul,
afraid to face the scary bits.
Me? I probed for something
horrific, knew it was there
for I had touched it, breathed it.
stroked and cooed, fed it
once on another plain.
and when I found it
I wrung the life from it,
bathed in its' essence...
just long enough to let
his lips turn a mean grin.
But with cold eyes
and calm voice
"I'll see you," I said
and tossed my chips
scattering the pot,
"and raise you
them brass balls
I took off your
daddy that day
at high noon."
Then walked away,
knew I would play
the cards I was dealt,
that the coldness
gave me strength
and that demons
shouldn't play cards
with wordsmiths,
poets, ladies from Texas.
