Steve has left us. He took his life. Left while I've been low and feeling rotten. Left before we had dinner like we were gonna or sang kareoke. Stupid fucker. I just looked up and there you are. Still on my IM list, still under StevieRay like you hate being called and I called you that anyway. Would dinner have saved you?

Perception is everything. Some of us are captives to our own minds, our hearts.

What could be more tortuous for the martyr who would take pain unto themselves, but to consciously hurt another or watch another suffer. It is selfishness the drives us to take it on. We don't want to see you hurt. We give selfishly.

To consciously hurt took great strength to save myself and it like other things, are killing me sweetly.