Monday, September 08, 2025

“in the dictionary between shit and syphilis”

Daddy was full of wise words and wisecracks 

he’d say “up and at em,” and “get ‘er done”


and though I still drag my feet waking

(for I love my bed and dreaming just a little too much)

I did …”git ‘er done”

too young in fact: I worked like him, like a bee buzzing 

filling the minutes hours days weeks months years decades


I never missed what I never had, 

until now when I wonder ‘what if’


while Daddy sits in his chair not wanting to rise

I want to echo his words, I want to say

“remember what you’d say about sympathy?

we all know where it can be found”


I want to scream, “get up, Dad, get ‘er done!”

instead I murmur these things to my own self 

to cold bones and stiff knees 

while I drag out of bed slowly waking 

much like I was at ten, wanting to sleep a few minutes more

zing pop pow

I have stopped waiting 

for life to happen 

for the world to change 

for others to…other

Sunday, September 07, 2025

who knew Mercedes made a hearse

the dome outside my window 

the one with the cross and flag atop?

across the square where 

four odd lanes cross? 

people gather outside wearing 

whatever the day brings, chatting 

with backs on houses 

in doorways including my own 

in the process of replacement 

a small few inside, sitting waiting 

for the priest

for the hearse to crawl

a flood of mostly men inching 

and I wonder, will the hill be too steep 

as canes clicking

on pavement amidst murmurs 

as the workers hammer 


mistakenly it seems

do not give me your tired

poor or hungry? keep away!


your yearning to breathe 

for I can barely contain 

my own struggles caged


too many pointing-telling

what to do-think: how to be


hardening the shell I sought 

to soften mistakenly it seems 

when existing became a chore

Wednesday, September 03, 2025

untitled

I cannot laugh at death 

I cannot mock it

No, not even the potential of it


Having watched a life erode

Having made decisions for the end of it


I wish it on one, even the vilest 

I cannot laugh at death

Some lines cannot be crossed 

Tuesday, September 02, 2025

modus operandi

too easily too often I 

settle into logic

read verbatim 

miss the nuance of intent

apologize for being me