I
these dreams I hold dear

Fear of consumption
again
of diversion
from that upon which I
dream in the eve
of a soft summer's slumber.

Stepping back I
listen intent,

wrap my cloak of
not looking
about my breast,
a shield freeing
me to want
nothing from no one
giving of myself
what I will
and only I deem.

A cloud mist veil
(but never that shell
of old again) through which
I watch, wait, want

dreams for us both.

II
Inspiration even
in silence and distance.

III
For four years
the day been comin’.
As it nears
my spirit calms. I
loved you well
in death and distant
in life,
my older brother
who will be
younger than I.

sheeple

What life is this you lead?
Antinomy begets more and
it is an endless churning out
of mediocrity at it’s finest.

Morals in decay and if
I offend thee…good

that you recognize your lacking
yet if you move on do you see
where you have no courage to face

yourself, your dreams?

*antinomy; here i have used quite broad and ambigous connotations, i appologies if it's too far reaching but i write the words as the spill forth...

I was closed off for years
trying to articulate to one
(I caught in the cling) trying
like a new colt gaining it’s feet.

But he couldn’t listen.
he had gained his feet deftly
yet never learning to 'speak',
going about his way walking
in ambivalence like so many
other sheeple of today.

My leaving broke his legs;
finally is he gaining way to voice
his heart and feed his soul.

Finally are we able to converse
freely with tears flowing and love.
Finally now we are not each others
but are ourselves individually.

And I? I am left abreast…
emoting to any and all. I want
to break the legs of social ideology
shake those who conform, beat
them black and blue, make the feel

again, as in thier youth,

become human

again.

Is no one else impassioned with this?

I step into the night
in wonder at the coming year.
I will wish you inspiration
and warmth if you will allow me
to believe in your creativity.

Oh my god
the wonder of life!

older brothers aren't supposed to die at 35

PINK FLOYD
"Wish You Were Here"

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

One thing I rarely mention;

the tumor they removed was benign
and in fact quite simply a “mass”.

I feel it’s loss like a molar removed
my tongue ever probing the hole till it heals,
and even after at it’s ghostly presence.

Pangs in it’s place, my mass I miss you
like a child never born or a dream unrecalled.

Little did I know the offset of my chi,
the placement of my ink, the quenching of
thirst and quelling of hunger centered on you.

One thing I rarely mention
is that I cry when I write.