The knife is swift, the cut is deep, the
blood flows red in memories,
red from the heart so small, so…

I am home, cold in the evening.
Guitar guttural streaming
Thinking and not thinking.

I want, I desire
Something real
Something becoming
yet I reside in the white
space forming slow and sweet.
In conscious effort
and mayhap deep at heart
singularity wants another
singularity
of the same to want to the lead
when no other has before.

I am home, cold in the evening
Differentiating the nature
of frailty and trust.

Candy

Here I am! Burning
Like a red hot
Atomic Fire Ball
On the tongue
Already fair parched.
Oh man I love
Pushing it between
Teeth, Blowing
Outward and sucking
With lips red
And swelling, tongue
Pushing around,
Probing: poke, poke,
Fingers pink
From having to see
When I'll get
To the cooler center.

Strange ways go a day’s thoughts
Leading in unto the night of none
Save smiles and touches lightly
Lingering soft against my mouth
As lids too long bereft of slumber’s
Sweetened kiss lay loosely falling
Into dreams of validation unrealized.
And of the hands that held? Nothing,
Just that they were well received,
Just that they were in the moment.
Just that I am the soul living true
In still as yet defined fires flowing
Free. Just that I am loving me.

II
Turtle, wannna turtle,
Wanna hide but
Won’t let me so it’s like
Tryin’ hard, like puttin’
My face to freezing
Rain and walkin’ dead
On against wind.
The viral hurtin’
Body and spirit low.
Persevere, endure,
I wanna get back
To fabulous, wanna
Get back to livin’.
Wanna get back to me.

I
In fevered dreams I tossed and turned speaking to God
And I dreamed that He wanted me,
Not my life but my living and I didn’t want to go
I begged no but knew, once past you I may concede,
Not wanting to burden another or harm.
And yet why was I so sure suddenly we will part?
Because all the other always leaving is my creed?
And I awoke with a fever ‘bout to break.
Rough night, bloody rough night and your morning
Smiles brought more odd thoughts and weary peace.

III
So many thoughts
Too fast flooding
Left me weeping
Wanting to reach
Out to you in your
Logical laughter.

II
Seemingly so sad in your sighs so heavy,
Spirits high, my heart did burn wanting
To reach out and run slim fingers soft
Across your cheek, push ear to chest
To feel your beat yearning to comfort.

I
Life has led me ‘round and back the way
I came and I may recall a second left
Once, maybe twice, but I came back
Whole with a myriad rewards sweet.

wicked crush

Soft, sweet, the echoes deep
In the beat of the heart resounding
As laughter glows in her head,
Her little world where
The music plays and the fingers trail
Circles cool white with little tails
Like teardrops on too hot flesh.