He needs
To go wild a bit
And she
Don’t think she
Can watch that,
Not sure she
Can be that
For him
Not when
She is wanting
More and willing
To linger yet
Awhile.

I mean,
How could she take
The risk of being
The one
He moves on
From like that.
Naw, but she
Can be
The one
He moves on
From in
Friendships’ sorrow
Bitter sweet
Knowing
He grew
From her healthily.

His smile slays
Her in a ten-fold
Of heaven and hells.
He is some kind
Of wonderful
She deserves.

Robert,
Where are you in the diadem?
I cannot find you in dreams.

And perhaps I pushed him
Away to save him the watching
Of my dying someday.
I do wonder.

I step lightly into this goodnight
Having stopped to glance the moon
O’er long, the clouds fast transforming
And feel the coolness, smell the richness
Of the approaching hour.

And I worry about you, Tommy mine,
Your quest is in my thoughts and prayers.

Echoing the twig that snaps sharp
And startling, the sudden intake of
Breath, the heart beats fast.

The cold is forming, numbing, ready.

I
Words trip lightly and roll off
A tongue without thought or censure
Of a heart that beats in a rhythm deeper,
Slower than the average bear.

Her body temp low daily and
Coming up to par begets fervor
Of restless dreams and desires of deeper,
Passion and fire like no other.

II
Yet she resides in the stillness
On the surface
Of thoughts and passions’ murmur
Of chance and possibilities’ deeper meaning,
Shaking, holding herself at bay
Like the dog longing, bird in sight,
Waiting for her master’s command.
Like the dog already having tested the razor wire,
The elctric fence.

There is none stronger than her heart save
Her will and oft her perseverance.

III
She spins, twirling
Face to the sun
On tiptoe falling
Shoulder to the grass
Rolling and giggling
Dogs licking face
And feet she curls
Into a little ball
Then spreads
Arms wide stretching
Back arching
Smile beaming
Stunning at the new day
She is alive
She is alone and sighs.

Solace. I dream
Of mountains and cold
And the sun that shines
That is my god. Nature.
Of beaches and walking
Lithely on tiptoes through
Crowded streets moving
Swiftly around and beyond.
Alone.

I am understanding more
Each day and It brings me
No closer to any save myself.
I am solidifying beautifully.

I awoke tangled
In bears and linens and sweat,
After too many hours of sleep,
The fever I know is there will not
Break. Hand on womb, thoughts turn
But I am scared to retreat from others
Even you to save me.

I am not attracted to weakness
And it is unbecoming of me.
Slowly the spirits sinks when
The body of it’s nourishment is depleted.

All this and I keep smiling, humming, I am happy.

I had been subduing
That
Thing
In me
That is beauty
Your touch
Enflamed:
Passion and caring.

And I am sad to lose that.

It is not cute,
It is gut-wrenching and sore heavy
That I have found you.
And you need to be elsewhere
In this time and place
And I am impatient knowing
What I want and not if
It can occur even in time.

“You’re a beauty tucked away in a box”
And the tears fall
On words silently
NO, no, I am pain and sorrow.

I miss my brother.
When I killed him,
His eyes were large
And soulful pleading.

Kill. It is
The denotative sense
Of the word that haunts me
To no end.

I miss the body
In the house.
The one I would talk to.
The one that did not listen.
The one I gave away thinking
I would find one who could.