"Can you have passion without longing?" - I don't know, darling, I don't know.

Vulnerable, unsure,
Thought I saw just a glimpse.
And the person yet unformed,
Undecided is sweetness
So strong of arm and mind
And humor. Knowing the
Shoulds and finding them
Unimportant.

Restraint and the breath
Quickens, lightens,
Body tense, waiting.

Called a day early,
Saw a day earlier
Twice than planned.
Keeping tonight cause
Sleep is for the dead
And I in a semi-panic
More so restless than
Anything am settling
Into flesh too hot.

And days too busy,
And in need I found
Too many in need
And in need I alone
Time need for thought.

Smooth flesh unmarred
Eyes sparkling, mine
Are what they are
And are mine for a while.

Heart beating fast, I laughed full and deep.
Eyes sparkling, pulling into lines laughing,
He pushed and I back, eight-grade super-style
And in midweek I said next early week
Reasons too numerous to know then
But one the cycle. And since, one the wonder
If I would think of meanwhile, (yes) and one
The wonder if a call would come sooner.
(and the unknown caller asked “free early next week?”
to which I replied a simple, “yes”)
Mind wonders down a path better left not tread.
And yet in my heart no possibilities can I deny.
Tuesday, we’ll continue this then. Oh yes.
I sought him midday midweek of the time waiting.
Do I seek again on the morrow eve or can I wait
Just one more day?

And sometimes the rain comes
On winds softly
Waking in midnight hours
And long kisses leading
Into that not sought
But welcome all the same.

All the world’s asleep but I
With eyes wide look about
And move swiftly through
The stillness poking this
And that which a curiosity
I find to be.

In stillness the darkness flows with light shining, shadows ebbing. They walk about, the “myriad small creatures” in their yin-yang. And I accept their probability and possibility and may never have been.

Am
Is
Are
Was
Were
Be
Being
Been

The realization of existence in a specific time and place
within a millisecond and the half count of a breath, a touch, a kiss.
Zen baby and time nor space exists. And flesh on flesh consumes.

Words come
On tips of tongues
Smoothly sifting
Into a heart beating
Breast round, high
And soft, rising
Full unto the
thoughts anew.

Human nature a curiosity for sure; the depth the varying degree of people – beautiful.

Face flushed, sake and flirting
Speaking of small things
Smiling eyes wide and sparkling
From the mischief of thoughts
Wondering.

I am thinking of twilight when the dreamscape faded and shadows formed just before the day began and night faded in wisps of steam. And how long ago did I write those words. I am not that young girl of insecurity and doubt.

It is a different type of wanderlust that consumes in shaking disarray while soul steady the body looks about restless. It no longer seems to matter why, only that it is past and I move on, spine straight and head high, tears streaming now and then for the hope I dashed.