kitchen drawer

twenty-4 years later an’ I’m still sittin’ in a drawer with the odd things that I had planned to use or fix some day, gettin’ tangled in my own cord

redneck city girl

suddenly missing 

the sultry smooth

of a Texas boy’s

intent and the ease

in which I was me

I teeter on the precipice of a forced calm

I thought I had settled in

was settling - in the process of

rooting - envisioning 

implementing the vision 

of the life I would lead

after a life too determined 

a segue in the midst of the trying 

of the boggling 

down in the mire of figuring 

and establishing - hit in a frenzy 

a day late and a syllable short

just because I can

doesn’t mean I want to

I’m too old for it

 

I was promised lemons

has anyone seen my Ikigai?

I sat it just there 

on the windowsill to sun

to catch the breeze

I had my eye on it

until the Murphy spilt

into cracks and crevices seeping

has anyone seen my lemon?

I was promised lemons 

in the cracking of a cough: I am weary

in a dark room, still

too early for the sun

pushing out a fever 

in a clammy-hot sweat

am I in it or past

I knew it was coming 

no chills yet

just the sludgy-haze

of breathing shallow

clear but deeply crackling 

craving Avgolemono

setting my headspace to right

ready to rule as-is always 

what got me through 

worser things than this

things near broke me

things that did determined 

this will not - up n’ at ‘em 

Little Caprica - get ‘er done