do-over

 as a child

age as a number was

foreign

there were just those 

who were

older

there were no

expectations

to grow old

to outlive

 

everyone

 

to lose

joy

to want a

do-over

Leaving Texas

good people in Texas

they’re hard to find like a

 

firefly in the city

or a slow drive down a 

one lane country road

 

windows down and 

music up, singing off-key

 

while my heart beats 

a yellow rose in a

star-bright hue

 

hand in dirt, hand in water

stoking embers of an

unspoken thing

only born Texans know

 

no holler to quit

the slamming of

the back porch door

I look about, walkabout

soul-hurt with the leaving

but know it's time

shedding a life

I don’t recall how or when I got this particular ornament, but I was 17 approaching 18 and it was the first Christmas spent with my now ex-husband. I’m pretty sure my life was full of hope and (false) promises, but I can’t recall those either. I know in the beginning he would bring me flowers, flowers pulled from someone else’s yard. In the end though, his mind was anywhere else and I was left in shards from losing my brother. 

singularity dark

in My life

there is no god

creation

religion

only the spirituality of a 

Oneness

an existence in 

singularity dark

Glory

Hey hey my my

 I wore black so long 

I thought my favorite color was gray;

Approaching light

The full spectrum comes into view 

preferring not to

living in the white space

between lines, between words

between the micro dots of ink

on paper, on flesh

where we pause

for breath, for cognition

should pause, but rarely do;

from the fringe, the shadow

unseen we peek, observe

wait to step in

should step in, but rarely do

would prefer not to