s'up

collecting 

ceramic birds

wet socks

sand 

and fur

due diligence/but not always

Identify the goal. 

List actions items required to attain the goal. 

Anticipate challenges. 

Work each action item. 

Tackle any challenge. 

Tackle any unanticipated challenge. 

Be flexible if the path to the goal changes. 

Be flexible if the goal mutates. 

 

This will ensure you achieve your desired outcome, 

but not always. 

There is an unknowable variable at play.

This variable is the will of others. 

 

It’s okay to want conceptually, but not to want specifically. 

Take a deep breath. 

Be open to the possibilities before you.

cyclical

I worked…

              and worked one

so young so long so much

scrimping saving doing…

               without

he bought my youth

with nickels and dimes

divorce and drifting…

                more than surviving 

eating laughing connecting

doing things going places 

I dreamt myself into a

segue of pursing knowing 

scrimping saving doing…

               without 

one, two, three, four, five 

jobs I juggled if I needed 

               

back into the grind of two

one to get by one…

if I wanted I worked more

              and I got 

sick tired exhausted 

I dreamt myself into

to the joy of none

scrimping saving doing…

               without

pictures of me

 micellar water, no lotion 

Lines

dry shampoo,, no water 

Gray

fistfuls of ether

in a place where I can’t breathe 

the weight of nothingness 

reaching in overlong, reaching out

gasping, grasping air in huge gulps 

fistfuls of ether dissipating 

eroding into a half-lit dark

everything is damp, cold with it;

flesh, cloth, moisture-clouded glass

lungs; things grow in crevices here

in the place where I can’t breathe 

22 years

tomorrow will be 22 years since you’ve been gone:

I wonder how you would have aged.

where would you be in the world, where would I?

could the world have been different?

or was your passing a fixed event, destined?

does life unfold the only way it can? 

could? has? will?